6 thoughts on “To The Deep Blue

  1. Being on vacation, it was a pleasant surprise to see the first thing on my dash is a poem about the ocean. I like that you found a way to slip ‘oxygen’ in naturally. If I were to change one thing, however, it would be the last line; ‘aqueous’ fits in with the style perfectly, but calling something ‘bluish’ does not, especially when you already described it as a deep blue as the end to another line.

    Like

  2. Thanks Emma
    Ok well thanks for the crit etc. To be honest I don’t really worry about all that sort of thing. I just write how they feel to me at the time and almost never go back to them. They may well be imperfect/incorrect for the reader – however rather than go back to re-edit I just write something else instead. Sorry to cause an inner conflict though. As I say, you might be on the money! But I’m really glad you are enjoying on the whole.

    Like

  3. Love the way this shifts from
    physical to metaphysical,
    from skin to heart,
    from flesh to spirit,

    and how that inflects words
    both preceding and following,
    alters them for different readings:

    fathoms deep
    the cool
    drink it in
    an oxygen

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s